As much as I hate jealousy, I love anticipation. I love the build-up leading to an event, whether it be a life-changing moment, a fun party on the weekend, a huge exam, a trial, Christmas, anything. I love the feelings of wondering how things will go, what will happen, what memories will be made, how things will change, and will it be fun?! Anticipation keeps things exciting, anticipation means things are moving along, it can be quite the rush.
My life has been a series of anticipatory events. When I was younger, there were huge amounts of anticipation centered around school: graduating from high school, graduating from college, graduating from law school. Then there was the anticipation (and stress) of taking the bar, the anticipation of waiting for bar results, and the beginning of my legal career. Then I greatly anticipated getting engaged, planning my wedding, and getting married. I experienced fretful anticipation about my first trial. Next, came the anticipation of buying a house.
It is a little strange to not have any major events to anticipate. I am not able to fully anticipate what is happening with the mold situation because I have so many questions (which Alp, the mold remediator should answer tomorrow, I will have to try hard to not call him Alf.) The next major life event would probably be a baby. Although that seems so far away, I can barely muster anticipation for it. I suppose I could focus on turning 30, now that's scary. I might need some wine to deal with that anticipation.