Saturday, March 26, 2011


Hello. My name is Cortney and I'm addicted to social media.
(For those who know me in real life, I am aware that I'm spelling my name wrong. I feel by omitting the "u" it makes me less searchable and therefore, more anonymous. Not that anyone is really looking for me.)

Back to my addiction. It started with AOL Instant Messenger. My family didn't have the internet while I was in high school. We had a computer, but no internet. Um, how old am I that I didn't have internet in high school? Anyways, when I went away to college I had the ethernet in my dorm and my parents signed up for AOL. All of a sudden I had access to the internet and instant messenger. Right away, I fell in love. I was able to have conversations with all my high school friends and I so desperately missed them during my freshman year. It was just so amazing. Email still seemed so foreign to me and I love the "real-time" aspect of the IM. I happily IMed all through college.

Then I went to law school and was introduced to myspace. Be still my gossipy little heart. I could look at friend's pictures, read their "about me," and see what they wrote on each other's pages? I rocked my myspace. I had a cute background that was so "me." I changed my song to match my mood. I had a ton of friends. I posted cute pictures on my friend's pages. I wasted many a law school class happily playing on myspace.

Then I became a lawyer and myspace seemed a little young. Now I was posting my honeymoon pictures on my facebook and not even checking my myspace page. Facebook allowed me to reconnect with some great friends and to keep in touch with family that lived out of state.

A couple years after that, I started blogging and reading other people's blogs. It felt liberating to write again, even it was only inane dribble that only my family read.

And then I met twitter. At first I was a little afraid of it. I didn't quite understand it. I got the "wall" and "status update" with facebook. I didn't understand why I also needed twitter. But I signed up and sent out a couple of tweets and promptly forgot about it.

And then I became a working mother and OH MY GAWD do I love my twitter! I'm obsessed with it. I follow many working moms that I have found through their blogs. I also follow Perez Hilton and Anderson Cooper because I like to stay informed (I figure if Perez and/or Anderson are not talking about it then I don't need to know about it).

My love for the twitter really comes from the working moms that I follow. I don't belong to any working moms groups. I don't need to meet with other working moms on the weekend when I'm with my family and can actually forget the stresses of being a working mom. I need the support of other working moms on Wednesdays, when work sucks, it is still the middle of the week, I have baby snot smeared on the shoulder of my suit, I get a call from daycare telling me that my son has pinkeye, and I have to file a motion by 5pm. That is when I need to know that there are other working moms out there, struggling with the same issues as me. And that is why I love twitter. Because I see what other working moms post. I hear about their good days and their bad ones. With a quick glance at my blackberry, I can feel validated that it is ok to work and be a mother. That I am not the only mother who put their child in daycare and that working mothers can thrive despite the difficulty of it all. Twitter brings a sense of community right to my office when I need it the most.

While I may not know the people I follow in real life, it is so comforting to know that I am not the only one trying to balance everything. So I check my twitter frequently. Hell, I check my facebook frequently too. I deleted the myspace a while ago. That went the way of low-rise sparkle jeans. Fun while it lasted but it was time to move on. I love the connection with friends and family that facebook brings and I love the connection with other working moms that twitter brings. I'm totally addicted to my social media and I'm ok with that.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Everything is Fine?

The other day I pulled into my office's parking lot at the same time as my co-worker. We walked into the building together, me carrying my oh-so-discrete tote bag/pump. She asked me how the pumping was going and I said fine. She replied, "you make it look so effortless, I was a mess when I pumped."

Well that couldn't be further from the truth. The truth is pumping is a huge pain in the ass. The truth is that it isn't going fine. I struggle to find time in the day to pump three times. I am forced to supplement with formula (not that formula is bad but I hate to supplement when I'm going to all this trouble.) But if someone asks me how it is going, I will always say fine because that is how I always respond to such questions. Anytime I am asked how things are going I always say fine no matter what. On one hand I generally think that when people throw out the casual "how are you?" they really don't want to hear an in-depth, 15 minute long diatribe about my life. On the other hand I really hate admitting when things are not perfect.

But I am so very not perfect. A lot of the time I'm tired and cranky. I eat a ton of junk food. I don't clean my bathrooms often enough. I am terrible with money. Sometimes I'm not very nice to my husband. Although in my defense, today we got into a fight over who was going to pick up the dog poop (which is supposed to be his chore). Instead of telling him to go eff himself and don't bother coming home from work (which I seriously wanted to say I was so mad), I just picked up the poop myself. He then apologized and everything was fine. Although I did tell him he was a lazy f*ck. See, I'm so not perfect! I just can't do it!

I wish I could say that I will stop trying to appear perfect but I know I won't. My house will remain a mess, I will swear at my husband, eat at McDonald's and I will spend too much money at Target on things I don't need. Maybe one day, when I'm old and wearing my frumpy purple dress with my crazy red hat, I'll finally stop trying to appear perfect. Until then, I'll keep saying that everything is just "fine."

Monday, March 21, 2011

Some Free Time

Dinner has been eaten and cleaned up. Baby is bathed, fed, and asleep. Bottles are prepped for tomorrow. Holy freaking crap, I have some free time! What do I do? I don't even remember what to do with this thing called free time. I think I'll blog, drink wine, and watch some reality t.v. Hello, free time. I've missed you so.

I don't really have a coherent blog in mind, so here are some random thoughts that have been floating through my head:

- I love when traffic is light but it also freaks me out. I always think, "where the hell is everyone?" "Did I miss a warning?" "Is it Saturday?"

- I'm done buying expensive shoes. My nice shoes get trashed just as fast as my Target shoes. And I have broken the heels on three pairs of shoes trying to get the damn carseat in and out of the car. That kid is heavy! So I'm sticking to Target shoes.

- Captain America and I usually sit on opposite ends of the couch while watching t.v. He's sitting right next to me right now and it's weirding me out.

- The Beast is crawling. Frontwards and backwards. And he's getting fast. And he keeps going after dog toys. And he's proven that my childproofing attempts are the stuff of amateurs.

- This past weekend I went shopping in the juniors department at Nordstrom's (Brass Plum). Two of the sales girls said to me, "OMG, I love your sweater, I totally have it too!" Which made me think, "heck yeah, I'm not that old," and "um, do I look like I'm trying too hard to look young?"

- We attended my grandpa's 80th birthday party this past weekend. I hope when I turn 80 I'm surrounded by friends and family like he was.

- I need to stop dying my hair blond. The roots maintenance is killing me.

- I'm sick of getting cc'ed on nasty-gram emails at work. I don't like tattle-tales.

- I think I enjoy watching Yo Gabba Gabba more than the Beast.

Ok, my mind is now empty and Dancing with the Stars is on. Gotta go!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Helluva Day...In A Good Way

Today was a rockin' working momma day. I feel the need to document this kind of day because all too often there are drag you down, knock you out kind of working momma days and I want to remember that there are good days.

The Beast had a pretty early wake up call at 5am but he was happy so I didn't mind too much. I pulled him in the bed with the husband and myself and let him crawl over us while we woke up.

Drop off at daycare was uneventful. He was asleep and I left him in his crib looking like a peaceful little angel. My day at work was just so-so. I had a bit of a "zone out" period this afternoon because I was pretty tired after getting up so early. But I got some work done, had a few good laughs with co-workers, and had a decent lunch.

I realize that my day sounds mediocre so far but I rocked it after work. We had absolutely no food in the house. I mean I couldn't even scrape together grilled cheese and tomato soup. I just could not bring myself to eat take out one more time so I decided that I would have to go to the store after picking up the Beast from daycare. Not only would I have to go to the store but I would have to cook the dinner. Normally, I have a strict "we must go straight home from daycare" policy. I want to be able to enjoy every possible moment with my son after work so I never ever run errands after work with him. Plus, after daycare is the countdown time to bedtime and the Beast can get a little, well, beastly.

Despite my apprehension I thought I would give going to the grocery store after daycare a shot. I picked up the Beast, who had a great day at daycare, and headed to the store. At the store I strapped him in the ergo because I had just read an article that grocery store carts are covered in fecal matter and e. coli. Um, how disgusting is that? I don't even want to know how fecal matter gets on the cart but I was not about to put my son in such a filth ridden contraption.

Walking around the store with the Beast in the ergo was actually really fun. He got to look at all the bright things and I explained to him all the stuff I was buying. I got lots of friendly smiles as I walked around with my baby strapped to my chest. At home I managed to cook chicken parm, feed the Beast some homemade green beans (which he actually ate!), get in some playtime, have a fun bath, and put him to bed. I have since enjoyed my chicken parm and I'm watching Miss Congeniality while drinking a glass of wine. Not too freaking bad.

Of course nothing is perfect. I had to enjoy my dinner alone because my poor husband is at urgent care with a horrific sinus infection. But he finally got medicine so he can stop being so damn disgusting with all his snot aka feel better. Whew, now I'm tired. Back to my chick flick and wine.