Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Another First

Today the Beast had his first solid. It wasn't exactly a solid, it was rice cereal with breastmilk and it was practically liquid. But he was excited and I was excited too. It is just another indicator of how big my little baby is getting. Which makes it exciting and scary.

We don't really eat around the Beast. Sometimes I put him in the high chair while I eat my cereal but for that to happen the morning has to be going absolutely perfectly and completely on time. My breakfast is usually cookies in the car or driving through McDonalds. And we don't eat dinner around him because I want to spend my time with him in the evening playing and having fun in the bath, not cooking dinner and eating.

Now I see the result of not eating around him, he had no idea what to do with the spoon or the cereal. I don't know if eating around him would have helped the situation but it was pretty funny to watch him just spit the cereal out.

I think he enjoyed chewing on the spoon the most. We'll try again tomorrow. I can't wait till he is ready for sweet potato, I love sweet potatoes!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Happy Birthday Captain America

Today is Captain America's 30th Birthday! What an old man! (Please disregard the fact that I am already 30 and will be 31 this March).

Happy Birthday to a man who is loving, wonderful, loyal, sarcastic, a great dancer, stubborn as a mule, the pickiest eater I have ever met, hard working, seriously smart, a great attorney, a fantastic father (to the Beast and the bullies), a dreamer, expert traveler, and just an all around great guy*.

I hope you had a great birthday and I promise you the next year is going to be amazing!

*If only he would do dishes and laundry, then he would be even greater. Maybe too great.

No Time

I am not an overly confident person. When driving, I always turn around, thinking I'm lost, just to realize that if I had gone just a little further on my original course I would have reached my destination. I change my outfit at least twice before leaving the house. Between my wardrobe changes and the Beast's spit-up, mornings can get pretty interesting. I'm no stranger to second guessing, changing my mind, and asking for other's opinions.

But one thing motherhood, particularly working motherhood, has taught me is to be confident. To be sure in my decisions, not constantly question myself, and not care what others think about my decisions. Because I am just too damn tired and stressed out and pulled in a million different directions at one time to be anything else.

You want to judge me because I went back to work when the Beast was 9 weeks old? Sorry, don't have time for you. I'm too busy being a lawyer and raising a happy, healthy baby. You think I'm poisoning my baby because I supplement breastfeeding with formula? Don't have time for you either; plus, if you think that you are insane. You think my house isn't clean enough? I don't cook enough? I don't eat enough vegetables? My baby should be in cloth diapers? Yep, you guessed it, I don't have time for all of you either. I'm busy listening to my baby giggle, winning motions, and laughing with my husband.

Don't get me wrong, all of my parenting decisions have been carefully researched, pros and cons weighed, and input received from the husband. I am confident in all my decisions so that I don't have to deal with those who question them. I don't claim to be a perfect mother. Or a perfect wife or a perfect lawyer. Heck, there are dirty dishes all over the kitchen, dirty laundry all over my bedroom, the Beast is wearing the same pjs he wore last night because I didn't' feel like doing his laundry, and I did most of my Christmas shopping online while at work today. And if you want to judge me for that? Too bad. I don't have time for that.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sea World

Tomorrow is Captain America's 30th birthday. To celebrate, we went to Sea World this past weekend. I know, crazy way to celebrate the big 3-0. But we wanted to do something with the Beast and we have been wanting to go to Sea World for a long time so it worked out. But on the way there I started to think, "what the hell am I thinking, taking a 5 month old to an amusement park???? How am I going to change his diaper? Feed him? What if he freaks out?" In the end, there was nothing to worry about, the Beast did great. He took a few stroller naps and was pretty content while we were there. I even nursed him in public (with the help of a hooter hider)!

We started off with the Shamu show, we did not sit in the splash zone. I will never sit in the splash zone. That water is nasty. You don't know what those whales are doing in that water. There isn't enough purel in the world for me to sit in the splash zone.

We sat pretty high up so I'm not sure if the Beast could really see it but he appeared to be watching intently. I'm not gonna lie, I got all teary eyed watching the show. There were 3 "shamus" and it looked like a daddy, a mommy, and a baby. I have no idea if they are related or how they are related but I was so happy to be with my little family and I just couldn't believe that Captain America and I were sitting there with our son. So yea, I got emotional, it's a good thing I wear big, black sunglasses.

Captain America and I used to rule the self portrait. Turns out it is really hard to take a good picture of yourself when there are three involved.

One of the really cool things about Sea World is that there are a lot of interactive exhibits. You can play in the tide pools, pet the bat rays, and the dolphins. Captain America was very excited about the bat rays and he got to pet a starfish. It is so cute when he acts like a big kid. I touched a bat ray and ran away shrieking like a dumb girl. In my defense, it was really slimy.

Captain America and I really enjoyed Sea World. The Beast? Well who knows how much he really got out of it but he does love aquariums. He stares at the fish and follows them as they swim around. Note to family: this does not mean we want a fish. We don't. Do not buy us a fish.

Could this fish be any uglier? Yuck.

I absolutely love sea lions. They remind me of my bullies. Some are fat and lazy like my Frank and some are in your face like my Mickey.

This guy has some attitude. I respect that.

We had a great day at Sea World. And thank the good Lord that we have family that live in San Diego. We were able to drop off the bullies and then spend the night at their house. It makes things so much easier when we have the bullies taken care of. Although I have learned that I just cannot sleep with the Beast in the same room. And he can't either. Sometimes I feel a slight twinge of guilt that we don't cosleep. Like I should be snuggling my baby at all possible times. But then I have a night with him in the same room and no one is getting any sleep. He makes so much damn noise during the night which wakes me up to check on him and then he wakes up. It is an ugly cycle.

This is the Beast's 5 month picture. He's actually just about 5 1/2 months. Which is insane. He's becoming more of his own person every day and it blows my mind.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Five Months

The Beast turned 5 months this week. Normally, I would take his monthy picture with some kind of "5" marker in the picture but I can't find my freaking camera. I have a baby and no camera. Horrible. I know it is somewhere in the house. The last time I had it was the other morning when I tried to take a picture of the bullies because they were squished in the same bed together and it was so cute. Anyway, since I don't have any pictures here is a little video.

The Beast is still a happy, smiley baby. He laughs a lot now. He loves the songs Jingle Bell and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. That is probably because those are the only Christmas songs I know by heart so I keep singing them over and over again. He has rolled over but doesn't seem to care to do it again for the time being. He does scoot himself all over his crib. And he's getting close to being able to sit on his own.

We haven't started solids yet but I think that we will in the next couple of weeks. My doctor gave me the go ahead at 4 1/2 months. I was all excited and ran to Target to buy little spoons and rice cereal. And then I just felt like it was too early and I didn't want to interfere with breastfeeding so I waited.

I'm not sure how much he weighs. The only method I have for weighing him is weighing myself first and then weighing myself holding him and figuring out the difference. I don't really care to weigh myself right now so I'll just wait till his 6 months appointment to see how much he weighs.

There is the five month update for the Beast. This post was primarily written for my family. If you are not related to the Beast this was probably rather boring. My apologies.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Today was a rough day for me. Emotionally it was exhausting. As I drove away from daycare I was really missing the Beast. Now, I always miss him but some days are more bearable than others. This was one of the non-bearable days. I think it was due in part to the fact that I was really tired and just wanted to lay in bed and snuggle with my baby.

Then, while checking my facebook on my blackberry in traffic, I saw a post by my dear cousin about World AIDS Day and remembering my Uncle Robert who passed away from complications due to AIDS in 1995. I knew World AIDS Day was today but I will admit it was not at the front of my mind. Well the facebook post brought it front and center. Cue tears on my morning commute.

Then I went to a funeral mass for my boss's mother. I did not know her but I wanted to pay my respects and show my support for my boss. It was a beautiful service and touching and made me really think about life, love, and family. Because I needed more heavy thoughts in my head.

Anyways, I started the day thinking about my uncle and the funeral mass brought me back to that. My uncle was the coolest thing I could ever imagine. He rocked a mean mohawk and dyed it all colors of the rainbow (he may be the reason why I'm obsessed with coloring my hair). He took us to Disneyland and El Capitan. He wrapped our Christmas presents in foil and newspaper which I thought was just awesome. He was and is a great uncle and I wish I had gotten the chance to know him better.

The work day seemed to drag on forever and ever as I alternated between memories of my uncle and missing my baby. At the end of the day I got to snuggle my baby but my uncle was still gone. There have been so many great developments in the fight against AIDS and I wish these had been present when they could have been useful to my uncle. But I hope that the fight against AIDS continues to be successful so that children get a chance to grow up with their uncles, mothers, fathers, siblings, and that the world, someday, gets to live without the pain of AIDS.