Monday, December 13, 2010

No Time

I am not an overly confident person. When driving, I always turn around, thinking I'm lost, just to realize that if I had gone just a little further on my original course I would have reached my destination. I change my outfit at least twice before leaving the house. Between my wardrobe changes and the Beast's spit-up, mornings can get pretty interesting. I'm no stranger to second guessing, changing my mind, and asking for other's opinions.

But one thing motherhood, particularly working motherhood, has taught me is to be confident. To be sure in my decisions, not constantly question myself, and not care what others think about my decisions. Because I am just too damn tired and stressed out and pulled in a million different directions at one time to be anything else.

You want to judge me because I went back to work when the Beast was 9 weeks old? Sorry, don't have time for you. I'm too busy being a lawyer and raising a happy, healthy baby. You think I'm poisoning my baby because I supplement breastfeeding with formula? Don't have time for you either; plus, if you think that you are insane. You think my house isn't clean enough? I don't cook enough? I don't eat enough vegetables? My baby should be in cloth diapers? Yep, you guessed it, I don't have time for all of you either. I'm busy listening to my baby giggle, winning motions, and laughing with my husband.

Don't get me wrong, all of my parenting decisions have been carefully researched, pros and cons weighed, and input received from the husband. I am confident in all my decisions so that I don't have to deal with those who question them. I don't claim to be a perfect mother. Or a perfect wife or a perfect lawyer. Heck, there are dirty dishes all over the kitchen, dirty laundry all over my bedroom, the Beast is wearing the same pjs he wore last night because I didn't' feel like doing his laundry, and I did most of my Christmas shopping online while at work today. And if you want to judge me for that? Too bad. I don't have time for that.

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