A couple of weekends ago, Steph and I went to a yoga class at 24 Hour Fitness. I just cannot get into yoga. The class started with breathing exercises, we were supposed to clear our minds and focus on our breath. Or something like that. All I could think about was the two different kinds of lasagna I wanted to make and if I could pull off making two lasagnas at the same time. I was picturing the perfect lasagna assembly line when I realized everyone was up and contorting into a pose, so much for focusing on my breath.
I am simply unable to clear my mind. I have too much going on up there. I am constantly thinking about what needs to be done at home, what needs to be done at work. When I drive to work in the morning, I mentally map out everything that needs to be done, what order it should be done in, and how I can be most efficient about my tasks. For example, I plan that as soon as I walk in the door I'm going to tell my assistant which files I need, then while she is getting those, I can answer email, by the time I'm done with email I can start working on the file. Thinking like this is pretty common for the workplace, what is sad is that I go through the same process on my way home from work thinking about what needs to be done at home.
As I'm driving home, I think about all the things I need to accomplish before I go to bed. I figure I get home around 6pm (on a good day) and should be in bed by 10pm, so I have four hours to do everything. I plan that when I walk through the door I will first feed the dogs, then put the dishes away so I can get dinner started, while dinner is cooking, I'll throw a load of laundry in and vacuum, then get dinner finished and eat, do dishes, finish the laundry and have a little time left over to see the husband, play on the internet, and read my book. I often do not sit down when I get home from work until I sit down to eat and then I get right up after I'm done eating so that I can get everything done.
Brady is always telling me to relax, that things do not have to be perfect, that I should just sit down. But I can't, I feel like I have such little time that I have to be as productive as possible at all times. This is why I can't do yoga, I feel like it's a waste of time, it doesn't burn enough calories to be really productive and all that quiet time just gives me time to think about what needs to done at work or home. I feel like if I am going to spend an hour working out, I should be burning as many calories as possible.
In some ways, this need to be constantly productive is good because I do get a lot of stuff done in a short amount of time. But it often results in feeling exhausted and snappy when things don't get done according to my schedule. Maybe I should try yoga again and follow Brady's advice to just relax.
Ok, completely random sidebar: I'm watching the news while typing this and I really can't stand when the news anchors try to make witty banter about the stories, then the other anchors just awkwardly laugh like "oh, right, that was supposed to be funny." Just report the news and forget the not-so-witty banter! Ok, my rant is over. Yea, I think I do need that yoga!