Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Great Debate

I love blogging, it's fun, it's a great creative outlet, and it gives me a good excuse to go through old pictures and post pictures of my bulldogs. I also love to read other blogs. I read blogs of people I know in real life and people I only know in cyber life. I have recently stumbled upon a blog of a new mom who just recently went back to work full-time. This is currently my favorite blog because as a future working mother I am interested in how women juggle baby, work, husband, and keeping a home. I know I will find my own path in maintaining a healthy balance but it is interesting to see how other people do it.

My new favorite blogger recently posted this: a post about her going back to work and the routine she keeps to make sure she spends time with husband, baby, and gets her job done.

I thought it was a cute, interesting post. I liked that she and her husband set their alarms 15 minutes early just for some cuddle time. What shocked the hell out of me were the comments on the post. Some were supportive, some said "this sounds like my day," some said thank you. But some where down right cruel, telling her she was a bad mother, telling her to stop complaining, telling her to re-prioritize. I couldn't believe that some of these commenters actually took the time to write such mean and hateful comments.

The post and the comments had me thinking of the cold war between stay at home moms and working moms. I am very proud of the fact that I will be a working mom. My mom worked, my grandma worked, my great-grandma worked. I come from working stock. I have my own personal reasons for working and I know that it is the best decision for my family. And I hope that my son will be grow up to be proud to know that his daddy and mommy can be successful attorneys. I also know that women who stay at home are making the best decision for their family, and I'm sure they have their own personal reasons and situations that make that decision best for them.

What I don't understand is why can't the stay at homers and the workers get along!?! Nobody should try to impose their views on this issue on another family because you just don't know what another family's situation is or what is best for them. I have mommy friends that stay at home, that own their own businesses (a couple of them even!), that work full time, that work part time, that have gone back to school, that work and go back to school at the same time (that's just impressive). And all of these women are great mothers and doing what they have determined is best for themselves and their family. And I would never judge that. I just don't understand how people can judge a woman's decision to stay at home or go back to work.

I have been pretty vocal that I will be going back to work after the baby is born. The vast majority of people have been supportive. But, I have gotten minimal negative feedback about it. I have had some questioning of my choice of daycare (which is funny because I haven't made a final decision yet). To these people I usually just smile and nod and change the subject. I am future working mom to be, I don't have time to change your closed mind. And your closed mind? That would be a "you problem." That is not a "me problem" because I understand that everyone makes their own personal decisions and that it is really none of my business. I just wish that women on both sides of this debate could relax, be more open minded and stop being so damn judgmental! This isn't a sorority ladies, this is life!


  1. Funny, but as a SAHM-to-be and current SAHM, I also have 'working moms' who constantly try to 'change my mind'. Just like you, but flip flopped. Your are right that it goes both ways. The only reason it is a debate, is because society, keep turning it into one on TV (Dr. Phil), and the internet (The Nest, and others). Turn off the noise, and deep down everyone knows what is best for THEIR situation. Follow your heart, girl!

  2. I am proud that you brought this up because it is SOOO TRUE. I have been getting a TON of flack for choosing to end my carrer and it just is not fair :( Go with your gut and do what is right for you and keep it real. Love this post :)