This week I had lunch with a working mom friend of mine. We were commiserating over the working mom stress, guilt, and dire need of wine. She told me that at the grocery store, her 3 year old daughter asks, "does Mommy need wine?" and she justs hopes a social worker isn't standing nearby. While Leo's language skills are not there, I have no doubt that one day he will equate wine with Mommy. We joked that we are not alcoholics but sometimes we just need a glass of wine!
And then it hit me, it's not really about the wine, it's about the circumstances surrounding the glass of wine. I explained this to my friend, sometimes I don't even drink the wine I've poured. But if I'm having a glass of wine that means (1) I'm not at work and (2) I'm not actively parenting (ok sometimes I have a glass of wine in front of Leo but I usually take two sips and then I'm off chasing him). Having a glass of wine means I'm relaxing, no one is bugging me to fix anything, to settle a case, to train an employee, to get more goldfish or milk, to read Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the millionth time. The glass of wine means I am talking to my husband or reading a book or catching up on my DVR. Sometimes the glass of wine means I'm knitting and subsequently screwing up my knitting because I'm drinking a glass of wine. Basically, having a glass of wine means I've slowed down and taking some time for myself.
I feel like a lot of moms, myself included, are always saying "I need wine now!" But I think the wine is really code for "I need some fucking me-time people or I will cut something." And we all know that the illusive me-time is crucial to the survival of any mother's sanity. Of course, me-time is even better if you do have a glass of good wine to accompany it.