Labor And Delivery Fail

Today I failed at the whole labor and delivery thing, epically failed. Like got sent home from the hospital fail.

I woke up this morning and thought my water had broken. I won't go into details but a certain sequence of events led me to believe that this was true. So I called my doctor, yanked Captain America out of work and headed down to the hospital.

We walked into the hospital with all of our bags and stuff, excited and ready to have a baby. We walked out about two hours later, with all of our bags and stuff, looking like idiots. My water had not actually broken (and no I did not pee in my bed), I wasn't having contractions, I was sent home.

I was so frustrated walking out of the hospital. I am scheduled to be induced on Thursday and I really do not want to be induced. I was so excited that things were happening on their own and then, nothing. And to make things even better the nurse who did my ultrasound totally made fun of my tattoo.

I was laying on the bed and she puts the goo on my belly to start the ultrasound and notices my tattoo on my hip. She says "Oh!" with disgust. "That's, um, pretty." Ok thanks nurse lady, I realize that I have this totally lame tattoo on my hip that I got in college. I thought it was soooo cool at the time, I was such a rebel with my tattoo.

When I was in college, I really wanted a tattoo, any tattoo, it didn't matter. But I couldn't think of anything to get. So I ended up getting my sorority's symbol, a crescent moon. And I added a star to make it cute. Then someone asked me if I was Muslim. "No," I replied, "Why?" The person commented, "oh because your tattoo looks like the Nation of Islam symbol." Crap, I realized that a crescent moon with one star totally looked like the Nation of Islam symbol. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I'm Catholic! It just didn't make any sense. So I added some more stars to it and now it looks like this:

That is my artistic rendering of my tattoo and my nod to Hyperbole and a Half, a favorite blog of mine (even if she doesn't post very often). I am definitely not posting a picture of the actual tattoo. So here I am, no baby and a very bold reminder that I have a lame tattoo. Luckily no one ever sees the damn thing. Maybe one day, I'll have it covered up with a really cool tattoo and finally be the bad ass that I was meant to be. Instead of just another sorority girl with a crappy tattoo.