Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Backyard Discovery

This morning while I was taking the bullies outside to "do their thing," I encountered this:

I know this is a blurry, crappy picture but you can clearly see that it is a turtle. In my backyard! Just standing there. I thought it was dead at first and Brady was already at work. I frantically texted him asking what I should do and if I should call animal control. He said to throw it away. Yea freaking right. There was no way I was going to pick up a dead turtle and put it in our trash can to rot there. That's beyond disgusting. When I looked at the turtle again, it was gone. Clearly it was still alive, so now a turtle is roaming around my backyard and it totally grosses me out.

I absolutely abhor turtles. I have much irrational hatred of certain animals that are kept as pets due to bad experiences as a child. Turtles are one of those animals. My brother had turtles. He had two. One walked away when my dad left it unattended in the front yard. And the other somehow got maggots and had to be taken to the vet. Bless my mother's heart for driving a maggot filled turtle to the vet for her son. I would not do such a thing. But that is why I hate turtles so much because the thought of maggots infesting an animal is just to much for me to bear. Safe to say, Baby Brady will never, ever have a turtle for a pet.

The other animal that I hate is mice. I used to like mice. I thought they were cute and fun little pets. Stephanie and I had pet mice together, Susan and Lucy, after the main characters from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. Then Stephanie's mouse, Lucy, murdered and ate my mouse, Susan. It was a disgusting blood bath. We didn't know that two female mice would be so brutal to each other. And that was the end of keeping mice as pets. Ugh, I'm getting the willies just thinking about it.

I also hate pet rabbits. They are worthless pets and Stephanie had two of them. The first one died in its cage. My mom didn't want to deal with it, so she paid me $20 to throw it away. I think I was in junior high or high school. I wrapped a trash bag around my hand, picked up the dead bunny and tossed it in the trash can, which I think is illegal. It had been dead for a little bit and it was stiff. Again, disgusting. And because Stephanie's bunny died, my parents, for some unknown reason, got her another one. And like most mothers, my mom ended up taking care of it. And then she came down with viral meningitis. I remember that cleaning up the damn bunny's droppings was pegged as a possible cause of the illness. So that's why I dislike rabbits.

We had many, many pets as children. In addition to the turtles, mice, and rabbits, we had hamsters, lizards, skinks, and lots of fish. My parents were extremely patient with all the pets we had. But I am definitely scarred for life with some of these pets. While it was very nice of my parents to be so accommodating to their children's wishes for pets, I will not be following suit. I'm just fine with a couple of bullies.

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