By the Books

I'm a big believer in book learning. I think that you can lots of things from books. For example, I learned the law from books. Yes, I went to class, paid attention, and took notes. But most of my learning came from studying cases. Plus, there was a fair amount of online shopping happening while I was in class.




I taught myself how to knit from this book. I can knit and purl. I just can't finish a scarf in under four years.

So as my pregnancy draws near an end, I've been reading lots and lots of baby books to learn how to take care of my baby. I realize I can't learn how to be a mother from a book but I think I've learned lots of interesting pointers and tips.

I really like the Baby Whisperer. Its very common sense based and the author is British. She calls everyone "Ducky" or "Luv." It's very cute. A big part of this book is tips on how to get your baby to be a good sleeper. The Baby Whisperer does not advocate the "cry it out" method, but says to pay close attention to your baby's sounds/cries and do not rush in if the baby can soothe itself back to sleep. There are lots of other great sounding tips to get your baby to sleep through the night.

So I read the book and I'm feeling pretty confident that I can follow the tips and help my baby be a good sleeper when he gets here. Then last night, I put the bullies to bed like I always do. I go up to bed and around 10:00pm, Mickey starts barking her head off. Usually when she does this, I let the bullies come up and sleep in the bed. But it is really, really hard for me to sleep in the bed with them. They snore, they hog pillows, and they are, um, slightly gassy. It's not pleasant. So I ignore her and she stops barking. I'm pretty proud of myself that I didn't give in.

Then around 11:30pm, she starts seriously barking her little puppy head off. Now, I think she must be barking at something, an intruder or something. So I go downstairs and of course there is nothing. I let the dogs come upstairs and get in bed with me. But Mickey won't get in bed, she stands at the bedroom door looking annoyed. When I open the door, she runs downstairs and gets on the couch with a toy and goes to sleep.

Damnit! This dog just totally worked me over so she could sleep on the couch. She knew that if she kept barking I would let her out of the kitchen. Frank slept in the bed, Mickey slept on my expensive leather couch, shedding all over it, and I got no sleep.

Exactly how I am going to follow the Baby Whisperer if my dog walks all over me!?! I need to take control of this household before this baby comes, I'm in charge damnit! And now, if you'll excuse me, Frank is licking my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I must go deal with it.