The other day I pulled into my office's parking lot at the same time as my co-worker. We walked into the building together, me carrying my oh-so-discrete tote bag/pump. She asked me how the pumping was going and I said fine. She replied, "you make it look so effortless, I was a mess when I pumped."
Well that couldn't be further from the truth. The truth is pumping is a huge pain in the ass. The truth is that it isn't going fine. I struggle to find time in the day to pump three times. I am forced to supplement with formula (not that formula is bad but I hate to supplement when I'm going to all this trouble.) But if someone asks me how it is going, I will always say fine because that is how I always respond to such questions. Anytime I am asked how things are going I always say fine no matter what. On one hand I generally think that when people throw out the casual "how are you?" they really don't want to hear an in-depth, 15 minute long diatribe about my life. On the other hand I really hate admitting when things are not perfect.
But I am so very not perfect. A lot of the time I'm tired and cranky. I eat a ton of junk food. I don't clean my bathrooms often enough. I am terrible with money. Sometimes I'm not very nice to my husband. Although in my defense, today we got into a fight over who was going to pick up the dog poop (which is supposed to be his chore). Instead of telling him to go eff himself and don't bother coming home from work (which I seriously wanted to say I was so mad), I just picked up the poop myself. He then apologized and everything was fine. Although I did tell him he was a lazy f*ck. See, I'm so not perfect! I just can't do it!
I wish I could say that I will stop trying to appear perfect but I know I won't. My house will remain a mess, I will swear at my husband, eat at McDonald's and I will spend too much money at Target on things I don't need. Maybe one day, when I'm old and wearing my frumpy purple dress with my crazy red hat, I'll finally stop trying to appear perfect. Until then, I'll keep saying that everything is just "fine."
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Some Free Time
Dinner has been eaten and cleaned up. Baby is bathed, fed, and asleep. Bottles are prepped for tomorrow. Holy freaking crap, I have some free time! What do I do? I don't even remember what to do with this thing called free time. I think I'll blog, drink wine, and watch some reality t.v. Hello, free time. I've missed you so.
I don't really have a coherent blog in mind, so here are some random thoughts that have been floating through my head:
- I love when traffic is light but it also freaks me out. I always think, "where the hell is everyone?" "Did I miss a warning?" "Is it Saturday?"
- I'm done buying expensive shoes. My nice shoes get trashed just as fast as my Target shoes. And I have broken the heels on three pairs of shoes trying to get the damn carseat in and out of the car. That kid is heavy! So I'm sticking to Target shoes.
- Captain America and I usually sit on opposite ends of the couch while watching t.v. He's sitting right next to me right now and it's weirding me out.
- The Beast is crawling. Frontwards and backwards. And he's getting fast. And he keeps going after dog toys. And he's proven that my childproofing attempts are the stuff of amateurs.
- This past weekend I went shopping in the juniors department at Nordstrom's (Brass Plum). Two of the sales girls said to me, "OMG, I love your sweater, I totally have it too!" Which made me think, "heck yeah, I'm not that old," and "um, do I look like I'm trying too hard to look young?"
- We attended my grandpa's 80th birthday party this past weekend. I hope when I turn 80 I'm surrounded by friends and family like he was.
- I need to stop dying my hair blond. The roots maintenance is killing me.
- I'm sick of getting cc'ed on nasty-gram emails at work. I don't like tattle-tales.
- I think I enjoy watching Yo Gabba Gabba more than the Beast.
Ok, my mind is now empty and Dancing with the Stars is on. Gotta go!
I don't really have a coherent blog in mind, so here are some random thoughts that have been floating through my head:
- I love when traffic is light but it also freaks me out. I always think, "where the hell is everyone?" "Did I miss a warning?" "Is it Saturday?"
- I'm done buying expensive shoes. My nice shoes get trashed just as fast as my Target shoes. And I have broken the heels on three pairs of shoes trying to get the damn carseat in and out of the car. That kid is heavy! So I'm sticking to Target shoes.
- Captain America and I usually sit on opposite ends of the couch while watching t.v. He's sitting right next to me right now and it's weirding me out.
- The Beast is crawling. Frontwards and backwards. And he's getting fast. And he keeps going after dog toys. And he's proven that my childproofing attempts are the stuff of amateurs.
- This past weekend I went shopping in the juniors department at Nordstrom's (Brass Plum). Two of the sales girls said to me, "OMG, I love your sweater, I totally have it too!" Which made me think, "heck yeah, I'm not that old," and "um, do I look like I'm trying too hard to look young?"
- We attended my grandpa's 80th birthday party this past weekend. I hope when I turn 80 I'm surrounded by friends and family like he was.
- I need to stop dying my hair blond. The roots maintenance is killing me.
- I'm sick of getting cc'ed on nasty-gram emails at work. I don't like tattle-tales.
- I think I enjoy watching Yo Gabba Gabba more than the Beast.
Ok, my mind is now empty and Dancing with the Stars is on. Gotta go!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
A Helluva Day...In A Good Way
Today was a rockin' working momma day. I feel the need to document this kind of day because all too often there are drag you down, knock you out kind of working momma days and I want to remember that there are good days.
The Beast had a pretty early wake up call at 5am but he was happy so I didn't mind too much. I pulled him in the bed with the husband and myself and let him crawl over us while we woke up.
Drop off at daycare was uneventful. He was asleep and I left him in his crib looking like a peaceful little angel. My day at work was just so-so. I had a bit of a "zone out" period this afternoon because I was pretty tired after getting up so early. But I got some work done, had a few good laughs with co-workers, and had a decent lunch.
I realize that my day sounds mediocre so far but I rocked it after work. We had absolutely no food in the house. I mean I couldn't even scrape together grilled cheese and tomato soup. I just could not bring myself to eat take out one more time so I decided that I would have to go to the store after picking up the Beast from daycare. Not only would I have to go to the store but I would have to cook the dinner. Normally, I have a strict "we must go straight home from daycare" policy. I want to be able to enjoy every possible moment with my son after work so I never ever run errands after work with him. Plus, after daycare is the countdown time to bedtime and the Beast can get a little, well, beastly.
Despite my apprehension I thought I would give going to the grocery store after daycare a shot. I picked up the Beast, who had a great day at daycare, and headed to the store. At the store I strapped him in the ergo because I had just read an article that grocery store carts are covered in fecal matter and e. coli. Um, how disgusting is that? I don't even want to know how fecal matter gets on the cart but I was not about to put my son in such a filth ridden contraption.
Walking around the store with the Beast in the ergo was actually really fun. He got to look at all the bright things and I explained to him all the stuff I was buying. I got lots of friendly smiles as I walked around with my baby strapped to my chest. At home I managed to cook chicken parm, feed the Beast some homemade green beans (which he actually ate!), get in some playtime, have a fun bath, and put him to bed. I have since enjoyed my chicken parm and I'm watching Miss Congeniality while drinking a glass of wine. Not too freaking bad.
Of course nothing is perfect. I had to enjoy my dinner alone because my poor husband is at urgent care with a horrific sinus infection. But he finally got medicine so he can stop being so damn disgusting with all his snot aka feel better. Whew, now I'm tired. Back to my chick flick and wine.
The Beast had a pretty early wake up call at 5am but he was happy so I didn't mind too much. I pulled him in the bed with the husband and myself and let him crawl over us while we woke up.
Drop off at daycare was uneventful. He was asleep and I left him in his crib looking like a peaceful little angel. My day at work was just so-so. I had a bit of a "zone out" period this afternoon because I was pretty tired after getting up so early. But I got some work done, had a few good laughs with co-workers, and had a decent lunch.
I realize that my day sounds mediocre so far but I rocked it after work. We had absolutely no food in the house. I mean I couldn't even scrape together grilled cheese and tomato soup. I just could not bring myself to eat take out one more time so I decided that I would have to go to the store after picking up the Beast from daycare. Not only would I have to go to the store but I would have to cook the dinner. Normally, I have a strict "we must go straight home from daycare" policy. I want to be able to enjoy every possible moment with my son after work so I never ever run errands after work with him. Plus, after daycare is the countdown time to bedtime and the Beast can get a little, well, beastly.
Despite my apprehension I thought I would give going to the grocery store after daycare a shot. I picked up the Beast, who had a great day at daycare, and headed to the store. At the store I strapped him in the ergo because I had just read an article that grocery store carts are covered in fecal matter and e. coli. Um, how disgusting is that? I don't even want to know how fecal matter gets on the cart but I was not about to put my son in such a filth ridden contraption.
Walking around the store with the Beast in the ergo was actually really fun. He got to look at all the bright things and I explained to him all the stuff I was buying. I got lots of friendly smiles as I walked around with my baby strapped to my chest. At home I managed to cook chicken parm, feed the Beast some homemade green beans (which he actually ate!), get in some playtime, have a fun bath, and put him to bed. I have since enjoyed my chicken parm and I'm watching Miss Congeniality while drinking a glass of wine. Not too freaking bad.
Of course nothing is perfect. I had to enjoy my dinner alone because my poor husband is at urgent care with a horrific sinus infection. But he finally got medicine so he can stop being so damn disgusting with all his snot aka feel better. Whew, now I'm tired. Back to my chick flick and wine.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Hello Again
Wow, it has been over a month since I've blogged. Let me update you on what has been going on: work is crazy busy, I'm tired, the Beast is adorable, my house is a mess, the husband is doing well but is slacking off on picking up the dog poop, and the bullies are somewhere around here sleeping.
This past month has been insane. The Beast had a really horrible chest infection, Mickey had eye and nose surgery, I have been in trial, the husband's work has been insane. As I always say, I am going to try to be better about writing because I really do enjoy it; but, I make no promises.
And as a further cop out here are a couple of videos:
The first one is the Beast playing with his Christmas present from Uncle Chris. I can't get over that he's big enough to play with toys now.
And this one features a baby, a monkey, two bullies, and a whole lotta dirty laundry.
I told you my house was a mess and now there is video evidence to prove it.
And I just realized on the first video you can hear the husband nagging me to feed the dogs. Even though he is just sitting there on the couch while I am playing with the baby. Ok, so my house is a mess and my marriage isn't perfect. At least my kid is cute.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Six Months!
The Beast is six months old! He is 17 pounds and something ounces (I can't remember what the doctor said) and in the 50th percentile for weight and 28 inches long and in the 90th percentile for height. If I end up with a tall, skinny kid I am going to laugh (seeing as I am very not tall or skinny).
I can't believe he is six months old, he just such an amazing little boy and the light of my.....blah, blah, blah. Y'all he's teething. (Note the fake southern accent, means I'm freaking exhausted).
I always thought people were being overly dramatic when they talked about their babies teething but now I realize that they are not, they speak the truth - teething is pure hell.
He's not sleeping, he's crying, there is little I can do to make him feel better. Its frustrating, heartbreaking, and nerve wracking.
And the drool. So much drool. There is drool everywhere.
Last weekend was the worst of it. All he did was fuss, cry, and nurse. I didn't get much done that weekend. He seems to be getting a little better and starting to act like his usual happy self.
When he is not teething, he is a very sweet and happy baby. He is still not rolling but the doctor said she wasn't concerned with that. He can sit and is starting to manipulate toys. He makes funny little sounds and laughs a lot. Especially at the bullies.
And I'm going to give myself a little shout out here, the Beast is six months which means I have been breastfeeding for six months. I'm pretty proud of myself since I didn't think I would make it six weeks. It makes me happy that I am able to do this for my son and it eases my working mom guilt just slightly. I've become a stealth ninja pumper. I've pumped in parking lots, parking garages, bathrooms, and other people's offices. I've even started nursing in public. Mainly because I'm too lazy to deal with bottles. We are going to continue with breastfeeding with the goal of making it to a year. The Beast does get formula occasionally but I try to make sure that he mainly gets breastmilk. So far it is working for us.
P.S. These pictures of the Beast are totally crappy because I have a totally crappy camera. For those of you who are reading this (which is mainly my family), I want best buy gift cards for my birthday (which is coming up) so that I can finally buy the fancy camera I want. That's all I want. Best buy gift cards. Don't forget. No other presents are necessary. Just the best buy gift cards. So Dad, tell Mom that is what I want.
I can't believe he is six months old, he just such an amazing little boy and the light of my.....blah, blah, blah. Y'all he's teething. (Note the fake southern accent, means I'm freaking exhausted).
I always thought people were being overly dramatic when they talked about their babies teething but now I realize that they are not, they speak the truth - teething is pure hell.
He's not sleeping, he's crying, there is little I can do to make him feel better. Its frustrating, heartbreaking, and nerve wracking.
And the drool. So much drool. There is drool everywhere.
Last weekend was the worst of it. All he did was fuss, cry, and nurse. I didn't get much done that weekend. He seems to be getting a little better and starting to act like his usual happy self.
When he is not teething, he is a very sweet and happy baby. He is still not rolling but the doctor said she wasn't concerned with that. He can sit and is starting to manipulate toys. He makes funny little sounds and laughs a lot. Especially at the bullies.
And I'm going to give myself a little shout out here, the Beast is six months which means I have been breastfeeding for six months. I'm pretty proud of myself since I didn't think I would make it six weeks. It makes me happy that I am able to do this for my son and it eases my working mom guilt just slightly. I've become a stealth ninja pumper. I've pumped in parking lots, parking garages, bathrooms, and other people's offices. I've even started nursing in public. Mainly because I'm too lazy to deal with bottles. We are going to continue with breastfeeding with the goal of making it to a year. The Beast does get formula occasionally but I try to make sure that he mainly gets breastmilk. So far it is working for us.
P.S. These pictures of the Beast are totally crappy because I have a totally crappy camera. For those of you who are reading this (which is mainly my family), I want best buy gift cards for my birthday (which is coming up) so that I can finally buy the fancy camera I want. That's all I want. Best buy gift cards. Don't forget. No other presents are necessary. Just the best buy gift cards. So Dad, tell Mom that is what I want.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)