This past weekend we went out to eat. I picked a restaurant that is in a plaza of restaurants by the Pond (ok fine, Honda Center). As we pulled into a very packed parking lot, I remembered that the Ducks were playing a big game that night. Sidenote: I love me some hockey. I'm hoping that if Rick Santorum actually becomes president, my love of hockey will ease my transition into becoming a Canadian because I will be getting the eff out of dodge if that happens. Ok, enough side rant about politics and hockey.)
Anyways, every restaurant was packed so we ended up going to this Irish pub that is a bar and restaurant with emphasis on the bar. It was very "You have a baby. In a bar." It took forever to get a table and forever for the waitresses clad in mini plaid skirts, tight tops and knee hi socks to notice us. Leo was quickly approaching flipping his toddler shit mode and I was crafting my acceptance speech for mother of the year for bringing my kid to a bar with scantily clad waitresses.
Finally, one of the waitresses paid attention to us, got our food, going, and made sure we had everything we needed for Leo. My husband remarked, "she must have a kid." You can totally tell when wait staff have kids. They just get it. The waitress as a mom got me thinking, I asked my husband, "so she's a working mom, do you think she spends lots of time and energy thinking/writing/talking/reading about being a working mom."
His response - "no you psycho-freak." Hmm, a simple no would have sufficed. The point is he thinks I spend too much time worrying and thinking about being a working mom. And I do spend a lot of time on this subject. I write about it, I read about it, I talk to other working moms about it, I talk to non-working moms about it. I went to my book club meeting today where I was the only working mom and I specifically told myself that I would not talk about it. Then I ended up making a working mom blogosphere reference.
I know I talk about it a lot. But the thing is I need to talk about it a lot. I need to talk (or blog) how I feel about it because I have a lot of feelings about being a working mom. I talk about it a lot in an attempt to help other working moms who might be feeling the same things and think they are alone. I know how heart-wrenching it is to leave your baby in the care of others and I know that it gets better. I read about it a lot in order to see how others make it work and to know that I am not alone. Hearing other women support each other in this role is inspiring and comforting.
I don't think that one can just do the whole working mom gig without talking about it. There is just too much going on. The guilt, the lack of guilt, the routines, the judgment, the lack of support, what support works, the list goes on and on and on. I think that women talking about their roles as employees and mothers furthers the advancement of work places that respect both.
So maybe my husband thinks I'm crazy for being obsessed with being a working mom. I say that all my talk helps me do what I do and there are many other things that make me crazy. Like me not letting Leo touch the toys at the children's hair salon because I thought they looked too dirty. Now that is being a psycho-freak.