Firsts

Today the Beast discovered his hands and started sucking on them. I have no idea if this is some sort of developmental milestone, but it was the first time I have seen him do it and it was pretty cute.



I know that a common complaint of working mothers is that they will miss seeing their child's first milestonses such as rolling over, crawling, walking, etc. Some tell their daycare provider to not tell them when their child experiences a first so that when they see it, they think it is a true first. I was really worried about missing the Beast's firsts because I would be at work. But I realized that I could just as easily miss a milestone because I was in the shower or at the grocery store. I certainly cannot sit by son 24-7, staring at him and waiting for him to do something. That would be weird and creepy. I also will not tell his daycare providers to not tell me when he hits a milestone. I want to know when he does it and it will still be special when I see it for the first time. I work in special education and a lot of the evaluations concerning little ones centers on when they hit certain developmental milestones. So I don't give a damn who sees it first as long as he meets them!

Maybe I will miss the first time he sits up or crawls because I'll be at work, but I will take solace in the fact that I will definitely witness his first trip to Hawaii (Summer 2011 baby!) and I will be there when he graduates college without student loans. Every situation has their pros and cons, especially being a working parent. Even though I may be sad about missing the Beast's firsts, I am going to focus on the opportunites I can provide him and the positive aspects of being a working parent.

Fulfilling a Fantasy

In spite of all my anxiety regarding going back to work, I'm not actually working yet. My new hire paperwork is all caught up in the maze of human resources which has bought me a few more days hanging out with the Beast. And I'm not going to complain about that.

Today I decided to fulfill one of my stay at home mom fantasies...pushing my baby around in the stroller at South Coast Plaza (the mall to end all malls). I used to work across the street from South Coast and while at lunch I would see an army of stay at home moms with their babies. I daydreamed of pushing around my stroller, wearing my juicy couture sweatsuit, and spending my husband's money on lavish presents for myself and the baby all while laughing at the poor saps in suits. Remember this is a fantasy.

So I got all dressed and put the Beast in a cute outfit. I think he was not too thrilled about the puppy on his overalls.



I went to the mall and pushed my stroller around. The trip didn't exactly live up to my fantasy. My juicy couture sweatsuit is no where near fitting over my ass and I had to wear a maternity dress. Even though I have the snap-n-go stroller (so much smaller than the travel system), I was still ramming into every freaking clothing display that I walked by. That was annoying. Also there was no spending of my husband's money on lavish presents. I spent my own money and I could barely find anything to buy because I'm still all lumpy from being pregnant.

And I had to take a million freaking elevators. I am not sure why I didn't think this part out. Of course I would have to take the elevator, I had a stroller. But I hate, hate, hate elevators. They give me the willies and just two nights ago I had a nightmare that I was stuck in one. I have been stuck in an elevator twice. Once was when I was a kid, with my family. The doors started to open before we reached the floor and the whole thing jammed. My mom panicked and started screaming "save the air for the children!" The second time was in high school with about fifteen people jammed in the elevator. Scary stuff.

Even though the shopping trip was less than perfect, I managed to find a dress for the Beast's baptism (I am choosing to ignore the size on the tag) and I got to have lunch with a good friend.

And the Beast slept the entire time. Even with me ramming into all the clothing racks.

Almost Ready

I am ready to go back to work. Let me clarify that, I will never be ready to leave my son. I'll be that crazy middle-aged woman dropping my son off at college, crying hysterically, and making sure he has enough sweaters. But in terms of preparation, I am so ready. My pump is all packed in its discreet tote that says "I'm just a black tote bag, I'm not a machine that is going to milk someone like a cow, don't mind me." I have purchased a new dress for my first day and a sassy new work bag (both from Target, I'll be hitting Nordy's after those paychecks start rolling in again). I have enough frozen casserole to feed me and Brady for a week and enough frozen breastmilk to keep the Beast pacified for a while. The Beast's cubby at daycare is stocked with six bibs, five extra outfits, two sleep sacks, two blankets, and five crib sheets.

The only thing I don't have is a good picture of my little family for my office. I have the obligatory wedding photo framed for my office. This is my absolute favorite photo of us from the wedding. I pretty much hated all the posed photos. We looked so fake in the posed ones. Candid shots just capture the mood so much better.



This is the picture I have framed for my office. It is cute. I like that we match (I'm very big on coordination). And yes we coordinated on purpose, we were going to a birthday party and the guests were supposed to dress in black and white. I went to three stores looking for a black and white outfit for the Beast. I was determined to have him participate in his first theme party.




But this picture isn't that great. My husband's head is cut off and the Beast looks all yellow and jaundicey. He did have jaundice when we came home from the hospital. It was scary and not something I really want to think about often.

This past weekend, we all went to my grandparents' house for dinner. I was determined to get a good family photo for my office. I curled my hair, put a cute outfit on the Beast. I was all set.



Then I downloaded the photo onto my computer and it was a total fail. I'm all shiny and my forehead is all bumpy from getting my eyebrows waxed. The photo is all grainy and we have the devil red eye thing going on. Which I tried to fix with my primitive editing skills. While I was able to reduce the red eye, the editing results in a dull, lifeless, creepy, zombie eye look.

I am pretty much ready to go back to work. I am still going to work on getting the family picture perfect. I would also like the bullies to be included. That should be interesting.

First Day of School

Yesterday was the Beast's first official day in daycare. By the way, we are referring to daycare as "school," it just sounds better. He had a trial run at school before I actually return to work next week. I think this trial run was more for me than him. He's a pretty mellow guy and does well in any environment. I, on the other hand, am a high strung mess who does not do well with change.

I dropped him off around 9am with a plan to pick him up at noon. He was asleep when I dropped him off so I put him in his little crib. I bought him a new seahorse to take to school with him but the school does not allow any loose items in the crib for safety reasons. So I strapped the seahorse, by his tail, to the side of the crib with a pacifer lanyard. Poor seahorse. I dropped off his bottles (I brought 10 oz all together for three hours, just a little much). And said goodbye.

Then I got in my car and started wailing. This was the first time I had left the Beast with anyone other than my husband. He looked so little in his crib. I was afraid that he would wake up and be scared and not know where I am. So I'm driving in my car totally sobbing. Oh and I hadn't showered yet or put on makeup or brushed my hair and I was wearing my holey yoga pants. So I'm driving down the road looking like a deranged homeless person.

Even though I was sad I was determined to be productive and go to the grocery store. But first I needed to pull it together. So I blasted "You Can't Stop the Beat" from the musical, Hairspray. This is my go-song to cheer me up or just wake me up. So now I look like a sobbing, deranged, homeless person who is screeching out Broadway musicals.



I managed to calm down at the grocery store and was even able to enjoy my carmel frappuchino. Since I was so productive with going to the grocery store, I decided to get a pedicure. You know pedicures just are not what they used to be. They are not actually that relaxing. I had to fend off the lady's barrage of questions regarding whether I want a flower (no, I'm not 12), extra massage, or the super expensive callous remover that melts skin away (that can't be good). After getting a somewhat crappy pedicure, I got my eyebrows waxed. As if it wasn't enough to ruin my pedicure, the lady keeps asking me if I want my lip waxed. I tell her no. I have never had my lip waxed because I don't need to have it waxed. Sure, I have a stray hair here and there but (1) it is blonde hair, and (2) the wax totally irritates my skin and I so did not need a mustache of broken out, red skin. She keeps telling me that I need to have it waxed. I finally firmly said "no thank you," and she shut up. By that point I was like hurry the hell up, I need to get my baby!!!

When I picked up the Beast, he was chilling in a boppy just watching the world around him. He looked pretty content. He drank his bottle like a good boy and his teacher said he didn't cry at all. The school even made a little photo collage for me:

The top right picture looks funny because it is all stretched out. I am feeling pretty good about the school thing. I'm glad he was able to nap and enjoy his bottle. Of course when I got him home, he was a fussy butt for the rest of the day. He fought his naps with a vengeance and didn't go to bed until 9 pm (but he slept until 5:30 am, yay!!!). I'm happy with his school but it is definitely going to take some time to get into a routine.

Baby Bunny

When you are a new mom who is on the verge of returning to work and feeling very sad about putting your little baby in daycare, do not, DO NOT read The Runaway Bunny to said baby.



The Runaway Bunny is about a little baby bunny who tries to run away from home and his mommy bunny's never-ending love and devotion to him. It is a very touching story and a classic. The whole time I was reading it, the Beast was cooing and making little sounds while I was crying and telling him that he was my little baby bunny and that I loved him and would always love him forever and ever. I am a tad emotional right now. The Beast just cooed and looked at me like I'm crazy...he's very smart because I am crazy.

So I made a deal with the Beast. He goes to daycare and when he turns sixteen I will buy him a brand new car. Not the fanciest car they make, but still a nice, cool car. And he will never have to work while school is in session (provided his GPA is acceptable). He'll only have to work during the summers. I can't have him being a total spoiled brat. So that is the trade-off. The Beast accepted the deal. He won't remember being in daycare this young but I'm pretty damn sure he's going to remember that car.

Two Month Check-Up

The Beast had his two month check-up today. I can't believe he's this old already! He weighed 12 pounds, 5 ounces (75th percentile) and was 24 1/2 inches long (97th percentile). I have a big boy on my hands!

I certainly did not like seeing him get his shots. And I don't think it is fair that I had to hold down his little legs while he got them. I pay a lot of money for insurance, there should be someone else to hold down his legs in torture.

But he did get some pretty cool snoopy bandaids.



Poor thing, he has his mother's thighs. The chubby thigh look is much cuter on a baby than a 30 year old woman.



I brought Stephanie for moral support since Captain America had to work. The doctor told me that right after the Beast got his shots I should breastfeed him to comfort him. Well the Beast was screaming bloody murder after his shots, there was no time for the hooter hider, so Stephanie got an eye full of some boob. She was a good sport about it and politely turned away and stared at the wall.

Even though I spent an hour at Target yesterday and spent a small fortune, I didn't have any baby tylenol. Super mom fail. I stopped at CVS on the way home. I couldn't find the baby tylenol so I asked the pharmacy clerk where I could find baby tylenol. She looked at me like I was speaking gibberish and said, "what?" "Baby tylenol, where is it?" She replies, "oh you mean infant tylenol?" Um yeah, last time I checked baby and infant where interchangeable. If I say baby tylenol I mean tylenol for babies aka infants. I don't mean little, tiny pills of tylenol that are "babies."

I was very worried that the Beast would not handle the shots well. He assured me that he was fine and even gave me a fist bump to show that he was all good.