Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Fat Tuesday

After a three day weekend full of Mexican food, chocolate, and a breakfast consisting of cheese covered biscuits and gravy, I stepped on the scale.



Two pounds more than two weeks ago. I'm supposed to be losing a pound a week. I'm 5'4, 162.8 is not ok. Maybe I should try it again, maybe it was out of whack the first time. I watched the digital numbers spin around. Still 162.8. Ugh. I started to dig through my closet to find my flattering brown pin striped suit. Of course my brown tights were not clean so I was forced to wear my very unflattering black pin stripe suit. Hey, I'm a lawyer, I don't have a lot of options for my work wardrobe.

I'm over groaning every time I step on the scale. I'm tired of picking out clothes I don't want to wear just because they fit. I've been talking about getting healthy for months and I have done nothing. I'm frustrated by my lack of desire and motivation to do better for myself. My weight is unhealthy. It is making me feel unhealthy. This isn't about how I look. I look fine. This is about how I feel.

I know I can be healthy. I've done it before. I was on weight watchers before I got pregnant and it worked wonders. I was also working out at least three times a week. I was so motivated back then. And my will power? It was ridiculous! I could go to a Mexican restaurant and not eat any chips at all. I try to do my fitness pal. I make it through half the day and then just kind of forget about it.

So do I make a pledge to work out every day? Eat only 1200 calories a day? Say I'll blog it all out so I feel like I'm being held accountable? I was going to try to reach some kind of conclusion with this post but I'm actually sick of listening to myself whine. Plus I need to write some witness questions for trial tomorrow.


  1. Oh, I'm struggling with this right now, too. I'm 5'6" and stuck at 168 lbs. Not terrible, but not great. I've tried adding in walks at lunch time and I've started giving myself a serious kickboxing workout once a week. But so far, all I've done is stop the gain. I need to eat less. Blech. I hate that.

  2. I so feel your pain. And I weigh a good bit more than you do. I was looking at pictures of myself as a freshman in college last night and realizing how much better I looked. And I was still "overweight" then, but wow, what a difference!

    I don't know what to do either. I've talked with my hubby about joining Weight Watchers, and I'm really considering it when I come back from Blissdom. I NEED to be healthy, and I'm just not there right now with my eating and exercise habits.

  3. :( I've found I'm much better at DOING things than NOT doing things. I can't cut out food, it doesn't work. I freaking love food and it makes me happy (clearly deeper emotional eating issues here) so I HAVE to work out. Before my son, I was busting my ass at the gym at 530 am every week day. That ain't happening anymore. So I spin on just Saturdays and Sundays instead. And it's like you said, it's ME time. I used to hate it because I wanted to spend every breathing weekend moment with him, but then I started enjoying it as my solo time with my thoughts. And it's a social gathering too. Oh, and in the end, getting healthy really is a gift for our sons, right ?

  4. I hear you! It's tough to be an attorney and fit in workouts...and I don't even have a child yet! Having a sedentary job makes working out a requirement for me. Weight Watchers is great. I've been trying it on my own for a few weeks. Now I just have to DECIDE to stay on the plan. I've had a few bad days where I just give up. Self-control and working out more are what I'm trying to do! Good luck...realizing you need a change is the first step.