After a three day weekend full of Mexican food, chocolate, and a breakfast consisting of cheese covered biscuits and gravy, I stepped on the scale.
Two pounds more than two weeks ago. I'm supposed to be losing a pound a week. I'm 5'4, 162.8 is not ok. Maybe I should try it again, maybe it was out of whack the first time. I watched the digital numbers spin around. Still 162.8. Ugh. I started to dig through my closet to find my flattering brown pin striped suit. Of course my brown tights were not clean so I was forced to wear my very unflattering black pin stripe suit. Hey, I'm a lawyer, I don't have a lot of options for my work wardrobe.
I'm over groaning every time I step on the scale. I'm tired of picking out clothes I don't want to wear just because they fit. I've been talking about getting healthy for months and I have done nothing. I'm frustrated by my lack of desire and motivation to do better for myself. My weight is unhealthy. It is making me feel unhealthy. This isn't about how I look. I look fine. This is about how I feel.
I know I can be healthy. I've done it before. I was on weight watchers before I got pregnant and it worked wonders. I was also working out at least three times a week. I was so motivated back then. And my will power? It was ridiculous! I could go to a Mexican restaurant and not eat any chips at all. I try to do my fitness pal. I make it through half the day and then just kind of forget about it.
So do I make a pledge to work out every day? Eat only 1200 calories a day? Say I'll blog it all out so I feel like I'm being held accountable? I was going to try to reach some kind of conclusion with this post but I'm actually sick of listening to myself whine. Plus I need to write some witness questions for trial tomorrow.