Monday, August 29, 2011

What I Think About The Grass On The Other Side

I think that I need to stop checking facebook during the day at work. I inevitably see a status update from a "friend" proclaiming her love for staying home with her kids. Things like "I love being able to take a three hour nap with my three year old :)" and "I was born to stay home with my kids." I'm not trying to hate on stay at home moms but on a Monday morning when I didn't sleep the night before because toddler feet were kicking me in the face and my boss is asking for a status report on a project I forgot about and then I see some sticky sweet crap about being a stay at home mom, this is what happens:

Scenario One: I send a flurry of weepy text messages to my husband saying things like "I don't care if we have to eat ramen and live in a van down by the river, I need to stay home with my baby!" I typically get some kind of "get over yourself" response and then I move along with my day.

Scenario Two: I decide that since I'm such an empowered working mom I deserve a little treat. So I head down to Target where I drop $100 on shoes, cardigans that will look like crap after one wash, clothes for Leo, wine, and a twix bar. Or I buy a bunch of crap online and then nervously await the arrival of the package so I can hide it from my husband.

Scenario Three: In a desperate attempt to feel validated for working I spend the majority of my day reading working mom blogs. Said blogs are entertaining and informative but sort of defeat the whole "working" part of being a working mom.

Obviously these scenarios are not exactly ideal, for my psyche, job, or wallet. What should happen is that I see the random sahm status update, think "oh I'm glad that person is having a nice day, " and go about my lawyerly business. And for the love of all things holy if I see the "Do I work? Yes, I'm a Mom! I'm an alarm clock, maid, cook, yada, yada" post one more flipping time I'm going to flip my mom shit. That little cut and paste status update is just embarrassing to all moms, working, sahm, or otherwise. I sure as hell do not see any dads posting that kind of crap.

This post was meant to be an insightful look into my working mom status and how I perceive the grass on the other side. However, it ended up being more rambling because it is 9:00 p.m. and I am in the middle of making roasted butternut squash soup. Clearly I have issues that are not going to be sorted out in one blog post.


  1. So maybe I'm glad I'm not on Facebook?

    I don't know that I have any great ideas for dealing with the inevitable green grass envy, but you could wait until lunch time and post a bragging update about the awesome working lunch you're having at some nice grown up restaurant? You know, even if you aren't.

    (And I doubt that any of those SAHMs have sunshine and buttercup days all the time. Kids just don't work that way.)

    Hang in there.

  2. It's funny because it's true. I go through those 3 scenarios on a daily basis!

  3. Ooph, ain't that the truth:) all of it, in fact!
    Know what I think? I think those moms ARE having shitty days, but they figure if they can toss a status update for the REST.OF.THE.WORLD to see they can perpetuate their existence. Get through one more day without someone questioning why they don't work or how they do it all.

    PS: the cut & paste status? makes me want to give up FB altogether.
    PPS: @mrshiggison here:)

  4. AHAHHAA LMAO. I'm right there with you, except I would never tell the hubs I should stay home because we both know that wouldn't end well lol.

  5. @ Cloud - per your suggestion I am going to treat myself to lunch at a restaurant next week. I'm going to bring a book and smile while my diet coke is endlessly refilled. I can't wait!

  6. Ahhh how envy gets us all every now and again, missing your job if you stay at home, missing your kids if you work. The honest truth there are so many positives and negatives to each side. Thank goodness for the blog so you can have an outlet to vent!

  7. Ok, I'm like two weeks late on commenting on this, but I just have to say A-freaking-men. There's one person on FB I actually had to hide because her stay at home mommy updates were making me a very grouchy person. (The sunshine and rainbows stuff was bad enough, as were the being a mommy is the most important JOB in the world stuff, but then she started adding in things like "going for mommy daughter pedicures" and my head went BOOM).

  8. If it makes you feel any better, that SAHM that's taking a nap with her three year old? She was probably crying, still in her pj's, and *wishing* she was anywhere but her home for one day. Hence, the nap. So, you're right... the grass is always greener.