Sunday, September 12, 2010

Baptism of the Beast

It has been a helluva week. First the Beast got sick. It was just a cold but it was in in his lungs and it was his first cold and he is so little, so of course I was in a panic. Then I got sick. And I still can't take my beloved advil cold and sinus because I'm nursing. Grrrr. I haven't had any since before I got pregnant and I miss it! I ended up missing work Friday (even though I just started my new job) because my ears felt like they were going to explode. The Beast ended up going to the doctor twice, we had to call in Captain America's grandma to watch him so he didn't have to go to daycare. It was a mess.

Despite all this, I still had to get everything ready for the Beast's baptism which was this past Saturday.

It ended up being a great day. The Beast was a happy, smiley baby the whole day. The ceremony was lovely and very special.

But the day didn't start out great. I had decided that I would order croissant sandwiches and a cake from Alberston's and that I would make the rest. On Friday I had to prepare broccoli slaw, potato salad, grilled corn salad, and curry dip for a veggie platter for 30 people. Plus take care of a sick baby and a sick me. I didn't get to the grocery store until 7:30pm. I was up until midnight boiling potatoes and grilling corn.

I went to bed exhausted but with everything done and ready. In the morning I went to Alberston's to pick up the sandwiches that I ordered online. But when I got there, the sandwiches weren't ready. They didn't even have my order. I started to lose it. I started yelling, "well just start making sandwiches, I need them!" One of the deli workers calmly asked me if maybe I had placed my order with the other Albertson's in my city because people usually get them confused. I told her of course not and to start making sandwiches. She, again very calmly, suggested that she call the other store. I was like fine, whatever. Um yeah, I placed the order at the wrong store. My sandwiches were ready at the other store. And I looked like a big asshole.

However, I managed to order my cake from the right Albertson's. Of course it wasn't ready. So in between yelling at the deli workers to make sandwiches, I started yelling at the bakery people because my cake wasn't ready. Not my proudest moment. But I specifically said it needed to be ready at 8am and it was 8:20 and still not ready. And that smug baker sure as hell didn't need to move like a turtle while decorating the cake. I know she was doing it just to piss me off.

I eventually calmed down, got my cake, got my sandwiches, and got the hell outta there. We made it to the church on time and everything was fine.

The food turned out really good. The ultra sugary, cheesy sheetcake is a must for baptisms.

Oh I almost forgot to mention that during the baptism ceremony, the Beast let out the loudest, wettest fart/poop known to man. Everyone in the church heard it and Captain America and I were doubled over with the giggles. I peeked down the Beast's pants and realized that this diaper needed to be changed, like now. I got up from the pew, ran over to an empty pew in the back of the church, threw him down and changed his diaper. I look up and Captain America is running over to me. The priest is waiting for the Beast and I'm holding up the whole ceremony. I grabbed the Beast, ran back to the Priest and left poor Captain America to clean baby crap off the pew. It was definitely a memorable baptism.

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