Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Realization

When I was a little baby attorney at one of my first jobs my boss told me that I needed to be more of a bulldog.

I needed to be tougher, more aggressive.

(Like Frank could ever be aggressive, he is such gentle soul.)

But I just wasn't aggressive. I was more passive aggressive. In my early 20s I was at a dance club, getting down with my bad self, and this really annoying drunk girl kept bumping into everyone on the dance floor. So I steathily bumped aka body-checked her and ran away. I had aggressive tendencies but I was just so damn non-confrontational.

Despite my lack of overt aggression, I became a mildly successful attorney. I was able to settle cases but it would take me forever. I would constantly second guess myself. In trial, I would turn red with embarrasment when I had to question witnesses.

And then something happened.

This little guy showed up.

And in a sleep deprived haze I becaming a working mama attorney. And I stopped having time to deal with bullshit. And I stopped tolerating the games that lawyers play. And I became aggressive.

I no longer sit through countless hours of mediation. If the deal is bad, I walk. I'm not afraid to call out other attorneys when they are being unethical or treating my client poorly. I am more sure of my arguments and unwilling to waver from my positions. While I love my job, I want to get through the day as quickly and efficiently as possible so I can get home to my son. I don't have time or the desire to bullshit about cases. I cut to the chase and get the job done. And I'm not afraid to go to the mattresses for a legal argument I believe in.

Plus, I don't have time for long, rambling meetings. I need to pump!

Somehow in becoming a mother I became a better attorney. In realizing that I am capable of taking care of another life, I realized that I am so capable of being an attorney. In being constantly strapped for time, I have become a faster thinker, a faster talker, and a faster problem-solver. All while maintaining the necessary accuracy.

Motherhood has brought many things to my life. And I am very happy that it has brought a no bullshit policy to me.

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE this post for so many reasons, I never thought of motherhood that way before but I can totally see your point. You always hear that kids make life harder and mothers less focused at their job... this is just another way you look at the glass half full. LOVE IT!