When I was a little baby attorney at one of my first jobs my boss told me that I needed to be more of a bulldog.
I needed to be tougher, more aggressive.
(Like Frank could ever be aggressive, he is such gentle soul.)
But I just wasn't aggressive. I was more passive aggressive. In my early 20s I was at a dance club, getting down with my bad self, and this really annoying drunk girl kept bumping into everyone on the dance floor. So I steathily bumped aka body-checked her and ran away. I had aggressive tendencies but I was just so damn non-confrontational.
Despite my lack of overt aggression, I became a mildly successful attorney. I was able to settle cases but it would take me forever. I would constantly second guess myself. In trial, I would turn red with embarrasment when I had to question witnesses.
And then something happened.
This little guy showed up.
And in a sleep deprived haze I becaming a working mama attorney. And I stopped having time to deal with bullshit. And I stopped tolerating the games that lawyers play. And I became aggressive.
I no longer sit through countless hours of mediation. If the deal is bad, I walk. I'm not afraid to call out other attorneys when they are being unethical or treating my client poorly. I am more sure of my arguments and unwilling to waver from my positions. While I love my job, I want to get through the day as quickly and efficiently as possible so I can get home to my son. I don't have time or the desire to bullshit about cases. I cut to the chase and get the job done. And I'm not afraid to go to the mattresses for a legal argument I believe in.
Plus, I don't have time for long, rambling meetings. I need to pump!
Somehow in becoming a mother I became a better attorney. In realizing that I am capable of taking care of another life, I realized that I am so capable of being an attorney. In being constantly strapped for time, I have become a faster thinker, a faster talker, and a faster problem-solver. All while maintaining the necessary accuracy.
Motherhood has brought many things to my life. And I am very happy that it has brought a no bullshit policy to me.